It is well-understood in most psychological systems that children are, in a way, at the mercy of the mental and emotional condition of their parents. As children, we are like empty vessels. We absorb into those vessels the thoughts, feelings, reactions and behaviors of our parents. These vessels are like collection boxes of impressions of how our parents see us and feel about us. And in the early years of life, we automatically fill these vessels with our experiences of our parents. Sometimes, changing your child’s operating system is the cure!
For some children, these experiences will add up to being wanted and loved. These experiences will convey to the child that he or she is wanted, loved, cared for, supported etc. Once a critical mass of these particles is accumulated, the vessels will have filled with enough positive particles and the child will conclude that he or she is a WANTED Child. For other children, the particles accumulated will reflect the problems of the parents. Maybe the parents are struggling with their own difficulties and have limited capacity to give love and support to their children. Maybe the parents have more children than their capacity to care for them. Maybe there is an illness in the family or a problem like alcoholism. In all these cases, the children experience the reality that they are in fact a burden to their parents, for whatever reasons. When these particles reach a critical mass, the children conclude that they are UNWANTED children.
In both cases, Wanted and Unwanted children, the vessels are filled and the conclusions are drawn somewhere between the ages of three and five. At these ages, children have no psychological mechanism to evaluate their own conclusions. So in the cases of the children who conclude they are Unwanted, they have no way of seeing that they are innocent beings by nature. They cannot see that there is nothing wrong with them, but rather there is something not right with their parents.
The Wanted and Unwanted conclusions that children reach become the nature of their operating system through life. It is as if we install either a Wanted Child Operating System or an Unwanted Child Operating System. The Wanted Child Operating System allows the person to go out into the world and expect the world to want him or her. This is the person that expects to be hired when he goes on an interview. This is the woman who expects to meet men who will like her and treat her well. And, perhaps most importantly of all, this is the person who learns, by watching and experiencing his or her parents, how to treat himself or herself well. These are people who are more likely to rest when they need to do so, and to work at jobs they like with people who treat them well. This is just the nature of the Wanted Child Operating System.
The Unwanted Child Operating System, on the other hand, has downloaded the experience of being a burden. As such, the Unwanted System wants to make up for the fact that it experiences itself as a burden. This is the person who does not expect to be hired, but rather hopes he or she can talk someone into giving them a job. This person feels bad about the way they look or talk or dress, and probably does not expect to be liked by other people as easily as Wanted children do.
Unwanted Children literally need a new Operating System. We cannot go back and relive the past and call upon the person’s parents to fill in the missing “Wanted” particles. What we can do is create a new operating system that might best be described as WANTING MYSELF. This can only happen when the electrical pathways in the Unwanted Child Operating System are resolved and are no longer driving the person’s life, and the person begins to live from an emotionally balanced place. Our I Ching Systems technology is based on this understanding. This knowledge of Operating Systems can be very powerful in and of itself.
If you are willing to use your I Ching Systems instruments when you experience emotional imbalance, it is our opinion that over time you just might create a new Operating System, one that supports you own well-being and inner balance. Even if you grew up with an Unwanted Child Operating System, you can still live your adult life from a place of Wanting Yourself. It is never too late…
Mary Miller MSW, Health Freedom Advocate
Author, Trained Health Coach
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